The Polar Express

I do not know how to swim. I can keep myself afloat for hours but the actual "right way" to swim, including the different strokes and side breathing have eluded me my entire life. Odd, considering I grew up surrounded by water. Now I just kinda propel myself back and forth in one of the lap lanes. I do a mean dog paddle. If there is ever a swimming category in the Olympics called Senior Division Dog Paddle, I am sure to kick butt! Sometimes I like to pretend that I have no feet and drag myself down lane 1 with only my arms. I have designed my own stroke that I call Paraplegic Polar Bear. I fashioned it after some footage on Animal Planet of polar bears swimming seen from an underwater perspective. The prototype of this stroke was originally entitled just Polar Bear but I have combined the no feet aspect with the Polar Bear and I have found this particular stroke of my own design to be quite efficient and fun. While I am swimming I have time to think. Or sometimes I hum. Today I did both, humming the score to "The Sound of Music." while coming up with nicknames for my fellow swimmers. I have dubbed my favorite couple Granny and Goat. They are very old and cute and spry. Granny and Goat have been there every time I have been there. Today we exchanged greetings.