Closets: In AND Out

I have recently had a light-bulb moment regarding two of my oldest and dearest friends which involved two very different closets. Since privacy is such an issue these days I will call them "Fred" and "Ethel". I have known about Fred's closet affiliation for years but it was only recently that Ethel's closet connection was revealed to me. Ethel and I are very close and the older we get the closer we get. A wonderful by-product of this aging process is not giving a flying you-know-what about what people think. As Janice Joplin sang "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." And as some 12-step programs preach "you are only as sick as your secrets." I agree. My precious Ethel has recently informed me that when she was in college she spent a few hours hiding in a closet rather than take her, oh let's say, her "German" final. As if Herr Deutchland would hunt her down, drag her by her (insert German word for ear lobe here, if you know it) and force her to "schreiben Sie exam." As for Fred, he came out of his proverbial closet only a few years after Ethel was hiding in hers. I have no closet story of my own but nearly thirty years ago when Ethel was hogging our college apartments' bathroom I did poop in a box. The truth shall set you free!