Monday, May 29, 2006

Too Fat to Ride a Horse?

My mom says I'm too fat to ride a horse. She says it would be a mean thing to do to a horse. But apparently saying mean things to your daughter is okay. Cuz who's gonna tell you if your own mother doesn't? Funny, I think I could have gone my whole life without the knowledge that I am too fat to ride a horse. Surely somewhere on this planet there must be a cowboy that weighs more than I do. Or a corpulent sheriff ? I'll bet Hoss (may he rest in peace) weighed more than I did. His horse seemed fine. Aren't horses classified as "beasts of burden" anyway?

In Scotland, at the Queens summer residence, Balmoral Castle, you can rent a cottage and a mountain pony. They have a weight limit for riders of their ponies (and these are PONIES, mind you) of 14 stones. This is about 215 pounds I believe. So the Queen of England thinks I'm not too fat to ride one of her own personal horses! I had better get there fast because I don't know how much time I have left before I am to fat to ride a queen's pony. If I go today there will be no issue...but in two years...well, I can't be held responsible for what happens between now and then.