Diabetes? Yes? No? Pre?

About ten years ago I received in the mail a letter from one of my many trusted doctors. It said: "You now have Adult Onset Diabetes." I was shocked and distraught. Why there must be some mistake, I told myself. I am not an adult and how could anyone possibly perceive me as such? I resented the implication. Now after about nine years of denial and evasion I know that I now have a full blown case of Type II Diabetes. I understand that the term Adult Onset has been abandoned, due to our fat children in this country, in favor of the more encompassing Type II. Now, thanks in great part to my friend Tia, I have begun to understand all the medical jargon/babble about Diabetes and can now make informed choices about my personal health. Tia confirmed for me, for example, that while neither choice is healthy, it would be much better to consume a pound of blueberries rather than a pound of Skittles. Who knew? Of late, on the topic of Type II Diabetes, I have become, what one of my bosses once referred to me as, "a voracious reader and investigator." Every day I become a tad more enlightened, about this vile affliction, which may help me make it to my 60th birthday. Yesterday while I was reading about the "sugar sickness" on the internet (so it must be true!) I kept coming across the term "pre-diabetes." People can now be labeled as pre-diabetic. In reference to my all around not so healthy self I will now think of myself as pre-dead.

How I Loved and Lost Candy

Twice this summer Candy has been taken from my life. The first being in a rabid plea to my doctor that if he would let me stave off diabetes medication for just three more months, no piece of candy or sugar or simple carbohydrate would cross my lips. The second time was when a woman whom I loved passed away after a courageous battle with cancer. Her name was Candy and cancer won.

I have been diagnosed with Type II Diabetes for ten years and for nearly ten years I have been in denial about it. Partly because there is a part of me that just doesn't care if I wake up tomorrow or not. And partly because I have no self-control and moderation means nothing to me. And partly because I just plain love candy. Well, the wake up call came a few weeks ago in the form of a stern form letter from my doctor in which he angrily (I assume) and hastily scribbled that I needed to come in AT ONCE to discuss my exorbitantly high lab numbers. I obeyed, made an appointment and was berated but I badgered right back and now I am officially off candy and in the category of "diet and exercise controlled" Diabetes. (I always laugh when I think of that cuz in the past ten years I have done nothing of the sort.) If my will to live was not the strongest in the past ten years imagine how I feel now with my friend, candy, out of the picture. Well, I would like to dance at my son's wedding so I am going to give it a try!

And now for a far more precious Candy. Candice Calkins. I knew her briefly but she was wonderful. She was a maniacal evangelical christian who never missed a day telling me I was going to burn in hell! I loved her and she loved me. We could not have been more opposite in the religious arena yet more alike in so many things. She had a twinkle in her eye that would not quit. I only knew her briefly. We worked together for about six months in 2004. We worked in a classroom called the "Emotional Growth Center." Nine boys, four teachers. Our classroom was kinda of a last chance stop for these boys. The other adults in this classroom were a man named Larry and an angel named Elaine. It was a short chunk in my life but will forever remain one of my most joyous and fulfilling. The four of us were quite a team. Candy was beautiful, smart, loving and funny. She did everything and loved everyone with a passion that I seldom see. I loved her after knowing her only a few hours. I think she loved me from the moment she was born....as she did everybody. Candy, I know you are exactly where you wanted to be. Send me a sign if that's possible.